I Cried Out to God… And Here’s What Happened

A scripture came to my email from something I signed up for—who knows when. How many of us have done that? Another endless email that we don’t even remember subscribing to?

The subject line caught my attention: “God is closer than you think.”

And the scripture?

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” — James 4:8

That really spoke to me. Because if I’m being honest, I feel that truth now, but this time last year? I can’t say I did.

I felt alone. I felt like God had left me.

I was in pain—physically, mentally, emotionally—and all I wanted to do was die. I was angry at God. Why would He spare my life from the accident only to leave me in pain and misery?

It didn’t feel like He was a loving God. And my anger wouldn’t allow me to hear Him.

I cried out: “God, where are You?”

I thought He had disappeared. Deserted me when I needed Him the most.

But the truth? I was the one who walked away from Him. And I know that now.

The Bible says:

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” — Hebrews 13:8

The same loving, comforting, compassionate Father that I feel now was always there.

But my anger and emotions wouldn’t allow me to see Him.

Have you ever been there?

Where your despair is so much louder than any sense of faith?

I just want to remind you this morning—God is the same, no matter what you’re going through. He’s right there in your struggles. He sees your pain. And most importantly—He sees you.

The real you.

Don’t give up on God. I am a living witness that He truly takes every struggle, every pain, and turns it around for your good.

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” — Genesis 50:20

Right now, I’m on a plane, about an hour and fifty minutes outside of São Paulo, Brazil.

Let that sink in.

Because this time last year, I was at home—isolated, sitting in the dark. No TV. No lights. Because sound and light were unbearable at times. My headaches were so intense that even the smallest noise felt like a hammer against my skull.

But now? I’m here.

Still needing meds. Still needing devices to mitigate sound and keep my symptoms at bay. But I’m here.

Because God is sustaining me while He is using me to bring hope to a group of women who need it the most right now.

Spoiler alert—that’s actually the name of my message: “Cultivating Hope.” I’m leading these women through an activity about having even a mustard seed of faith, just as the Bible says:

“If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” — Matthew 17:20

I’m here—just over a year since my accident. Still healing. Still walking through this.

But I’m here.

And if you trust Him, if you allow Him—He wants to use you, too.

Be blessed. Continue to follow my journey during this trip, because I believe God is about to do something out of this world amazing.

Have faith!