Finding Beauty in Affliction
There is a song I love that I haven’t heard in a while, but it popped into my head this morning. It’s based on Isaiah 61:3 and says:
“He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear,
Gladness for mourning, peace for despair.”
That song rang so true for me today, making me reflect on my past life experiences and how far I’ve come.
The Weight of Unseen Pain
Yesterday, we visited an orphanage in São Paulo, Brazil—home to children placed there by the government because they had no families or were unable to live with their own. I wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotions that hit me. It reminded me of my senior year of undergrad, when I decided to go to grad school and become a social worker. I was working with foster children through a program with the Boys and Girls Club of Arlington. It felt right.
I understood their pain—because of my pain of being abandoned by a father who chose not to care for me and the pain of abandonment by my mother involuntarily to death. I knew what it felt like to wonder if anyone truly saw me. At fourteen, I had those same questions.
Yesterday, those emotions flooded back. Even though I’ve healed from trauma, some pain will always leave scars.
But the beautiful thing is that God tells us He is near to the fatherless:
• “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” – Psalm 68:5
• “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” – Psalm 27:10
And Jesus Himself reassured His followers of His deep love and presence:
• “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” – John 14:18
These verses remind me that even in the moments when I felt abandoned—by a father who chose not to stay and a mother who was taken from me—God never left me. Even when I wrestled with the weight of feeling unseen, carrying pain that felt unacknowledged, He was always there.
Affliction with Purpose
This morning, as I lay in bed, reflecting on everything I’ve endured, I whispered to God:
“Why did I have to endure so much affliction?”
Beauty from Ashes
I used to struggle with Psalm 119:71—“It was good for me to be afflicted.”
What was David talking about? There’s nothing good about affliction.
But now, I understand. Everything I’ve experienced—from childhood trauma to sexual assault, from my autoimmune disease to holding my mother’s lifeless body in my arms, from my car accident to recovering from a traumatic brain injury—all of it has made me the vessel that God is using in this season.
If I’m honest, I wish He could have used me without all the pain. That’s my human heart speaking. But at the same time, I can see the goodness that has come from my affliction.
Yesterday, I saw those children—their silent questions, their invisible pain—and I understood them because I was them once. And now, God is using my story to bring comfort to others.
No, affliction isn’t good. But God is. And He never wastes our pain.
If you feel unseen today, if you are carrying a weight that no one else seems to acknowledge—know this: God sees you. He has not forgotten you. He is with you in the pit, and He is writing a story of redemption, even when you can’t see it yet.
He gives beauty for ashes. Always. (Isaiah 61:3)
